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Happy Birthday Mom !

I’m very sorry for what I put you through. I sometimes wish you could have had a better son than me so you could have had a better life.

I really don’t think I deserve such a wonderful mother like you. I have been feeling this way since I was 12 or 13 years old, I just wasn’t able to properly express it. Even though the many hurtful things I did and said to you was due to my intense anger and depression due to many things. But from the bottom of my heart I knew you were just trying to help me and would feel very guilty afterwards. Even though I said I hated you I never meant it no matter how serious I sounded. I just had many many problems I had to deal with myself that were out of your reach. 

I get out soon and I’m hoping we could finally be together once and for all. Once again, Happy Birthday and before now and forever I will always be with you and love you.     

***

Dear Mom,

Thank you for all the things you’ve done for me. When you did everything you could and took care of me and not gave up on me. Ever since I was in this world you’ve done a lot of things that I can’t pay you back for. 

I am sorry for all the bad things I’ve done to you like not listening to you when I had to clean up my room or not wanting to do the laundry. I am very thankful for all the things and wish I could pay you back. Without you, I wouldn’t want to live in this world. I understand how much you care for me and I thank you for that. 

This year, I hope you have a great life and have the best Mother’s Day ever and be healthy and not be sick or tired. 

Happy Mother’s Day!

Love, Kevin

                   Testimony   I                       C.Y.                                                                                                

I am an inmate serving a 26-years-to-life sentence in the California prison system since 2003. When I became incarcerated, I left behind a wife and a two-year-old daughter. I left them financially destitute, forcing them to move in with my parents-in-law. While I was in the County Jail, I remember speaking with my mother-in-law on the telephone. She said that my daughter would wake up every morning and go around each room to look for her daddy. Every single day, I was tormented by toxic shame, overwhelming guilt, and self-loathing.

In 2005, I was sent to a Level 4 yard to serve my sentence. In the summer of that year, my daughter, who was four-years-old at that time, finally came to visit me for the first time with her mother. I got to hold her in my arms and play with her in the visiting room for a couple of hours. At the end of the visit, my daughter said, “Daddy, today was the best day of my life.” When I heard those words come out of my daughter’s mouth, I realized how much I had been depriving and hurting her. Of all the life experiences she could have had, spending a few hours in a prison visiting room with her daddy was her favorite. This realization intensified and elevated my toxic shame and guilt.

It was during that time when I met an inmate named Abraham. He was a Protestant chaplain’s clerk. At that time, I was extremely miserable with myself. No matter how hard I tried, I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Unlike me, however, Abraham always had a smile on his face whenever I saw him. One day, I had a conversation with him. I asked how it was possible for him to always smile and have so much peace in his heart despite the fact that he was serving a Life Sentence Without the Possibility of Parole. I simply could not comprehend it. He then said, “I was not always like this. But I found God. He allowed me to forgive myself, fully accept myself, and be compassionate and loving toward myself. My life completely changed as a result.” On that day, I found hope. I found hope that I too could become a person who did not hate himself all the time. With that hope, I made a decision to seek my own transformation that day.

I wish I can say that my transformation was instantaneous. It was not. It was a long process. I enrolled myself in the Onesimus Bible Correspondence College and began studying the Bible. I began to repent and pray with my heart rather than my head. As a result, I began to build an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

In 2007, I was transferred to a Level 3 yard. I started participating in various rehabilitative programs, including AVP and Alcoholics Anonymous. I continued to learn, heal, and grow. Eventually, I became the man I am today. Today, I stand in direct opposition to what I once was. I take complete ownership of my past choices. Today, I believe I am entirely sufficient, worthy, invaluable, acceptable, capable, and beloved because that is what God says who I am. Even though I am still serving my sentence in prison, I have a heavenly citizenship (Phil. 3:20).

A few months ago, I had an interesting conversation with a Christian brother on the yard. I shared with him about a man named Abraham whom I met nearly seventeen years ago on a Level 4 yard. To my surprise, he said, “Are you serious? I know Abraham. He is a friend of mine.” He then proceeded to share with me that about five years ago, Governor Brown commuted Abraham’s sentence and reduced it to 25-years-to-life. He added that Abraham then had a BPH parole hearing and was found suitable for parole. He further explained that Abraham was paroled and doing very well in Southern California. Later that night, he showed me a picture of Abraham standing in front of his new car.

I was blown away and shocked. Abraham was serving an LWOP the last time I saw him. It was truly amazing and incredible that he was paroled. I could not stop glorifying God. He is indeed great! I am convinced that it was God who placed Abraham in my life to help me turn my life around. Through what He has done with Abraham, God has shown me that He is able to do all things. I believe that there is absolutely nothing God cannot do.

In a few days, I am going to finally have my BPH parole suitability hearing. The past twenty years have been an incredible journey of healing, recovery, self-discovery, and growth as a Child of God. I trust God that no matter what happens, He is going to complete what he began to do in my life years ago. I surrender my life to Him without any reservation. He brought me this far in my spiritual journey, and I am entirely satisfied with what He has in store for my life. I am willing to do whatever He wants me to do and go wherever He sends me. I will never stop trusting Him.

May God bless you in your spiritual journey, and may you continue to experience His faithfulness!

                                   Testimony  IV               Jorge    Mexico                            

Psalm 119:71

“It is good for me that I have been afflicted. That I may learn Your statutes.”

A few months ago, I saw this Psalm on a page of the Sarang Sam Project Calendar. And when I saw this scripture I felt plenty identified with it.

Within a few days, if the Lord wills, I will complete ten years of prison. And I can say with no doubt that this ten years has been the greatest affliction of all my life.

Because before I got imprisoned, I was a proud and arrogant business man. I was a metals and recycling materials trader, and I was earning a good amount of money. But, I didn’t believe in God. I didn’t believe in the things that Bible says. I didn’t have any interest on the spiritual things. I was just a materialist, selfish and greedy man.

Then I was arrested and imprisoned. I lost everything, and suddenly I was completely alone. People that were around and close to me, they gone and I never back to see them again. I remained alone and with absolutely nothing. I felt myself defeated and humiliated.

One day, an inmate invited me to the opening of the “Onesimus Ministry.” So I started to study about God, about His word, His purposes and His promises. After a short time, my opinion about God changed, and then I could to experience the joy of forgiveness and salvation that God gives to us through His Son Jesus Christ. After that, all my life changed completely. I could to prove and confirm that all the God’s word is fully true. Now I can say firmly that I have a new hope and a new life thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ.

So, as this Psalm says, it was good for me that I have been afflicted. Because thanks to this affliction I could know God and get a beautiful relationship with Him. Today I can enjoy a new kind of happiness, hope and a wonderful inner peace. I got a new family and new brothers in Christ Jesus. And I can enjoy this great moments with you all, sharing this experiences and teachings. 

God bless you all.

Testimony   III        Joseph                                                                                                          

James 2:18

   “But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.”

   I have heard that it is our faith in Christ that saves and redeems us. The Bible even states that we are saved by grace and not by works. This has led me to wonder why our works matter.

   The way we conduct ourselves in this world is a direct reflection of what we truly believe in our hearts. If a significant other loves you, their actions will naturally align with what is in their heart. If they do not, then it will be evident by the fruit of the relationship. If one says he loves God but hates his brother, he is a liar. Authentic faith naturally produces a corresponding change in one’s disposition and behavior. The heart, however, is deceitful and difficult to know. We must ask God to expose our inconsistencies, that we may achieve authenticity in truly aligning ourselves with what is good.

   I have found myself often praying to God, asking for healing and restoration, claiming to desire Him while still clinging to my own selfish behaviors. My works did not demonstrate that my faith was genuine. It required visible action on my part to demonstrate to God that I really meant what I was professing. When I was able to bite the bullet and make the effort to give up ungodly and self-destructive behaviors, I began to experience visible changes in my spiritual life, in how I received wisdom and encouragement from God.

   When faith and works align, it becomes a powerful tool through which a fledgling relationship with God is solidified and brought to maturity. God sees our willingness to take physical steps towards Him, and He responds accordingly.

God loves you.

     Testimony   II                Justin                                                                                                          

Hey John how’s it going? It’s Justin Chung, your old friend from Sa-Rang Junior High. I just wanted to write to you to see how you’re doing. I know it’s not the best time or the easiest time for you, but it can be the best time for you to dream, strategize, and execute your dreams once you get out. I spent exactly 13 years and 6 months incarcerated, not knowing if I would ever get out. Laws began to change for youth offenders and my sentence went down from 82 years to 25 years. I would have been around 41 before I saw parole. But I never gave up, continued to better myself and take accountability for all the wrong that I have done. With that being said, you have less than a few months to do. I know it’s not easy there and can be very congested and frustrating. I know that people can get on your nerves and it can feel dehumanizing. It’s up to you to decide whether to do your last remaining weeks smoothly or not. I suggest you humble yourself, be assertive, and be respectful and carry yourself in a way that won’t cause problems or trouble in there. Unless your willing to face the consequences and end up being in there longer. You have a chance to come home in a few weeks, so just do your time and come home and have a game plan to be better out here. But yea, I just wanted to say that. Let me know how you’re doing, call me when you can. For me, I’ve been home almost 3 years now. I went straight into school and got my license. I am a hairdresser full time in Downey. I love what I do. I have been dating my girlfriend of 2 years and am planning to propose to her soon. I am still dealing with immigration, so I don’t know what will happen to me, but every day I am living by faith and by the word of God. That is what got me through prison all those years. Of course in the beginning in juvenile hall, I got into fights and riots, but after that I went to prison, I decided to better myself and change. I have not received one rule violation in prison. It wasn’t easy, but I kept thinking about my family. I was sent all the way up north by the Oregon border, but I continued to humble myself when people disrespected me. I was able to get down closer to home by San Diego or the city of Imperial which was about 3 hours away from home. I’ve been all over the state of California getting transferred from prison to prison because my points were lowering. And when the opportunity came, I was ready to go in front of the Parole Board and state my case and rehabilitation. They found me suitable for parole and allowed me to come home. But it wasn’t without lots of trials and heartaches. There have been many nights of prayer and cries. I prayed every night for 13 and a half years that God would give me another chance to come home. And He finally did. Well let me know how you’re doing and am waiting for your response. Call upon the Lord and He will hear your prayers. 

Psalms 34:4-8 New Living Translation (NLT)

I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the LORD listened; he saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the LORD is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him. Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!

                           곽 브라이언 (가명)  방문을 마치고,            최준성 목사                    

         4월 06일 2024년 

여느 약을 하는 형제들이 거의 그렇듯이 잠시 사회에 나와서 좋아지는 듯하다가, 자신이 얼마나 이를 악물고 다시는 약을 끊어 보겠다는 다짐 과 더불어 안감힘으로 발버둥 쳤는지는 알 순 없지만, 지금까지 나의 기 억을 전적으로 의지해 보면 조금 연락이 뜸하다 싶으면 어느새 다시 교 정 시설로 들어가 덩그러니 앉아 있다.                 

 “참 속담에 이르기를 개 가 그 토하였던 것에 돌아가고 돼지가 씻었다 가 더러운 구덩이에 도로 누웠 다 하는 말이 저희에게 응하였도다”  

                                                                                             (벧후2:22)  

 참 하나님의 은혜와 긍휼하심을 간구하며, 하나님은 반드시 하나님의 때와 방법으로 약속을 이루어 나가시는 신실하신 분이심을 다시 떠올 리며 나의 약한 믿음에 부끄러운 맘을 들게 하신다.

“만군의 여호와께서 말씀하시되 이는 힘으로 되지 아니하며 능력으로 되지 아니 하고 오직 나의 영으로 되느니라” (슥4:6)

 한 번도 만나 보지는 않았지만, 브라이언에 대해서는 이런 저런 경로로 전해 들은 이야기만 해도 충분히 그의 살아왔던 인생의 경로를 가히 짐 작을 할 수 있을 것 같다.                                                                                그 동안도 가믐으로 적잖았던 사람들의 염려를 하나님이 충분히 아시  는 듯 유난히도 비를 많이 내려주신 이번 우기에, 간 밤에는 우리가 행 여 그 생김새까지 잊을까 우박까지 선물로 내려 주셨다.  거기다가 비 포장 도로를 한 참 운전해 갈 때 한눈에 들어오는 주위의 마을에는 오랜 만에 보는 눈 병풍이 온 지붕에 두루마리를 편 것처럼 새하얗게 덮고 있 었다.

  혹시 않 나오지는 않을까?   처음보는 목사에게 무어라 말할까?  어떻게 임팩트 있게 복음을 건네줄까 ?   기다리는 시간 동안 늘상처럼 같은 생각이 내내 머리를 휘감아 온다 

 아니나 다를까 ?   주님 ! 왜 이런 곳에서 만나는 형제, 자매들에게 이렇 게 착한 마음을 느낄 수 있을까요?  

 브라이언은 처음 대하는 목사에게 이렇게 먼 길을 찾아오셔서 만나 주 심에 감사의 인사도 할 줄 알았고, 자신 때문에 그 백짓장 같은 마음에 새끼 줄처럼 굵은 주름이 잡히셨을 부모님에게도 사랑한다는 말을 전 하고 싶다는 말을 잊지 않았다.

 그러나 그들은 한 결 같이 자신들의 당면한 문제와 아픔을 깊이 생각 하지는 않는다.    자신들은 언제든, 어디서든 마음만 꽉 먹으면, 그 까짓 약 따위는 지난 밤 꾸었던 기억 나지 않는 꿈처럼 금방 자신들의 인생에 서 간단히 지울 수 있다고 생각을 한다.

 또 나의 문제는 내게로부터 온 것처럼 여기지 않는다.   물론 부모나 친 구, 주위 환경이 그것으로부터 자유롭다고 할 순 없지만 결국은 자기 자 신이 그 문제로부터 적극적으로 탈출해야만 한다는 것을 굳이 알려고 도, 또 인정하려고도 하지 않는다.  

그래서 주위의 도움의 손길이 필요치 않고, 때로는 자신들을 속박하고 구속하는 간섭으로 여겨 건성으로 지나치기 일쑤이기에 치유의 시기를 자꾸 놓치거나 또 지연하게 만들어 결국 상황을 더 힘들게 만든다. 

주위에 자신을 위해 기도하는 마음을 전한다. 그리고 눈물로 부르짖고 자신을 위해 기도하고 있을 엄마에 대한 대화에 이르러서는 잠시 말을 멈추고 눈시울이 붉히기도 한 브라이언은 이제 수 개월이 있으면 다시 나온다.

마주한 목사의 얼굴을 애써 피하고 땅을 보며, 말을 잇는 브라이언에게 말한다.  

브라이언!  자책하고 포기하거나 소망을 잃지 말거라.  이제 나와 헤어 지면 들어가서 두 손 모으고 주님께 진심으로 기도해라,  그러면 주님이 반드시 지혜를 주실 것이야!   

주님! 브라이언에게도 죄의 사슬을 끊게 하시고, 주님의 인도함을 받 아 앞으로 건강한 가정을 이루고 주님께 기쁨이 되는 아들이 되게 하여 주시옵소서,  

다시 되 돌아오는 비포장 도로위에서 덜컹거림과 함께 브라이언을 위해 드려지는 기도는, 차창너머 형무소 건물과 함께, 눈 지붕 사이로 녹아 흐르는 눈처럼 아쉬움을 한아름 담고 차창 뒷 편으로 밀려 간다   

            After visiting Brian Kwak (alias)     Pastor John Choi        

April 6, 2024

After concluding  my visit with Brian Kwak (alias), I couldn’t help but notice how swiftly he retreats into solitude, seemingly determined to break free from drug and struggling against it, much like many of our brothers and sisters who briefly venture into society under the guise of improvement, only to return to the correctional facility shortly thereafter.     “Of them the proverbs are true: A dog returns to its vomit,”and, A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud.” ” (2 Peter 2:22).

Seeking God’s grace and mercy, I am reminded of His faithful nature to fulfill promises in His own time and way, even as my weak faith fills me with shame.

“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty” (Zechariah 4:6).

Though I’ve never met him, I feel I can somewhat grasp Brian’s life path through various stories I’ve heard about him. Despite my ongoing concerns, it seems God, who knows all, decided to bless us with abundant rain this season, even surprising us with hail last night, perhaps to remind us of His presence. The surrounding areas, seen from the unpaved roads, were blanketed in white like giant scrolls, a rare sight indeed.

Will he even come out? What will he say to this pastor he’s meeting for the first time? How can I effectively share the gospel? These questions swirl in my mind as I wait.

But Lord, why do these brothers and sisters we meet in places like this seem so kind? Brian knew how to express gratitude to me for coming a long way to visit him, as well as telling his parents that he loves them, despite feeling like a failure.

However, they, like many others, do not deeply consider their present issues. They believe that by simply shutting out their troubles, they can easily erase them from their lives like a forgotten dream from last night.

Moreover, they don’t acknowledge that their problems stem from within themselves. While their environment may not be free from influence, ultimately, they must actively seek escape from their issues, yet they neither want to admit nor accept this truth.

Thus, they reject help from those around them, viewing it as interference that restrains and binds them, leading them to overlook opportunities for healing and delaying their recovery, making their situation even more challenging.

During his conversation about his mother, Brian pauses his words, seemingly thinking deeply about what is being said.  He is expected to be released in a few months.

With an earnest plea, I told Brian, “Brian! Do not blame yourself or give up hope. After I leave, go inside, put your hands together, and sincerely pray to the Lord, then the Lord will surely give you wisdom!”

Lord! Please break the chains of sin for Brian, guide his ways and his future so that he can become a joy to You.

As prayers for Brian are offered up on the return trip on the unpaved road, they fade into the distance, filled with regret, like snow melting through the gaps in the snowy roof.

형제 조르단 영 (가명)  방문을 마치고,          최준성 목사                    

   하나님의 계획하시고 준비하심은 한 치의 잘 못 됨이 없으시다.  처음 조르단과의 서먹 서먹하게 나누던 대화는 조르단이 예전 살았던 마을이 지금 내가 살고 있는 곳에서 불과 몇 블락 떨어지지 않는 곳이라고 알고 난 이후에는 금방 오래 전 부터 알고 있었던 동네 이웃처럼 서로의 이야기가 그칠 줄을 모르고 이어져 나갔다. 그렇게 화기 애애한 이야기가 무르익고 그리고 시간이 좀 흘러 조르단이 이 곳에 올 수밖에 없었던, 그 날의 그 사건 이야기에 이르러서는 약간의 망설임과 거기다가 아직도 그 날의 분노가 다 가시지 않고 조금은 남아 있는 듯 어두운 톤의 목소리로 설명을 해 나간다.  

   너무나 열심히 일했고, 너무나 가정을 지키고, 너무나도 지금 두고 온 두 자녀를 보고 싶어 몸부림 치는 그의 마음 속 한켠의 응어리는 어느 새인가 뜨거운 작은 물방울이 되어 내 가슴 한 복판으로 방울 방울 소리 내며 떨어 지고 있었다.    

    (마10:28-31)” 몸은 죽여도 영혼은 능히 죽이지 못하는 자들을 두려워하지 말고 오직 몸과 영혼을 능히 지옥에 멸하시는 자를 두려워하라 참새 두 마리가 한 앗사리온에 팔리는 것이 아니냐 그러나 너희 아버지께서 허락지 아니하시면 그 하나라도 땅에 떨어지지 아니하리라 너희에게는 머리털까지 다 세신바 되었나니 두려워하지 말라 너희는 많은 참새보다 귀하니라” 아멘.

   다행히 하나님의 은혜로 사건의 결말이 중범에 해당되지 않았고 이제 두 달 후면 석방이 된단다.  그러나 아직 그의 마음에는 착실하고 열심히만 살아왔던 나에게 왜 그런 일이 닥쳐 와, 내게 그런 선택을 강요했는지, 놓아버리고 싶은 물음들은 꼬리를 서로 물고 아직 해결이 되지 않은 마음의 찌꺼기가 되어 그의 마음의 한 쪽 벽에 끈질기게 붙어 떨어지지가 않는다,

   아직 하나님을 잘 모르는 조르단에게 하나님이 스스로를 드러내신다. 우연이 아닌 그의 인생에 “왜 내게” 라는 그런 물음의 답을 하나님은 나에게 나아오라고 큰 소리로 귀에다 대고 말씀하신다. 이 모든 과정을 내가 알고 있노라고,

   하나님은 모르지만 웬지 교회로 발길이 옮겨지는 스스로를 발견했을 때에는 이미 우리 선교회에서 보내주는 말씀을 통해 조르단의 마음이 열려 가고 있는 중이었다.     

   참 감사하다. 그런 중에 목사의 방문을 받게 된다.

   이제는 목사의 입을 통해 귀에 들려지는 복음이 낯설지가 않다.  이제 나의 어깨의 짐과 마음의 상처는 어떻게  나는 보듬고 살아야 하나?   이제 나는 나가서 어떻게 살아야 하고, 앞으로의 다가 올 환경을 맞아 나는 무엇을 할 수 있을까 ?  

   굵게 말린 두루마리를 펴듯 끊임없이 뇌리 앞에 펼쳐지는 물음은  하나님이라는 웅장한 진리 앞에 그 종 종 걸음을 멈춘다,  (롬8:28) “우리가 알거니와 하나님을 사랑하는 자 곧 그 뜻대로 부르심을 입은 자들에게는 모든 것이 합력하여 선을 이루느니라”    (요 14:6)” 예수께서 가라사대 내가 곧 길이요 진리요 생명이니 나로 말미암지 않고는 아버지께로 올 자가 없느니라”

   장난감을 한아름 가슴에 담은 아이처럼, 조르단이 복음을 잘 받아 들여서 하나님께 감사를 드린다.   두 손을 같이 모으고 하나님께 기도를 드린다.  이제 헤어져 다시 돌아가는 조르단의 뒷모습이 참 따뜻해 보였다.   은혜의 만남을 주선하신 주 님께 감사를 드린다. 할렐루야!!

   오늘 이런 은혜의 시간을 주님이 원하시기에 어제부터 조르단을 방문하기까지는 많은 유혹이 있었다.

   오늘 기록적인 폭우가 올 것이라는 뉴스의 호들갑은 빗 속에 운전 더 조심해야지 다짐하며 한쪽 귀로 흘려 보낼 수가 있었다.  유혹은 여기서 한 발짝 더 가까이 나에게로 옮겨온다.    

    하루 전 늦게 전달을 받기로, 우리가 형제를 방문하는 같은 날에 선교 헌금 전달 식이 있으니 거기에 꼭 참석하라는 요청이다. 하나님이 선교회 재정 어려움을 아시고, 조금이라도 도와 주시니 조르단 오늘 방문은 포기하라고, 귀에 큰소리로 말씀 하시는 것 같아 이번 방문을 포기할까 궁리를 잠시 이리 저리 해 본다. 

(마 6:33) “너희는 먼저 그의 나라와 그의 의를 구하라 그리하면 이 모든 것을 너희 에게 더하시리라” 

   교도소로 향하는 길에 수없이 불렀던 찬양이 머리를 스쳐 지나 갈때,  차 유리에 퍼 붓는 빗 줄기 속에 서도 한 가닥 살 짝 모습을 드러낸  햇빛처럼, 아직 한번도 만나지 않은 조르단이 머리에서 떠나지 않는 것은 이렇게 시원챦은 목사에게도 주님은 은혜 주셔서, 귀한 영혼을 맡기심에 감격해 몸둘 바를 모르는 나의 작은 믿음임을 깨닫게 하신다

                          Visit with Jordan Young (Alias)         Pastor John Choi        

   I wholeheartedly recognize the perfection in God’s plans and preparations.  What started as slightly awkward conversations with Jordan, centered around the divide between his past village and my current home, swiftly evolved into a comforting exchange of stories, reminiscent of longtime neighbors catching up.  As our connection deepened, Jordan opened up about the events that brought him here, revealing a subtle hesitancy and a lingering undercurrent of anger from that particular day.

   Despite pouring his heart into diligent work, protecting his family, and an intense desire to reunite with the two children he left behind, Jordan’s emotions, tucked away in a corner of his heart, somehow resonated within my own chest.  Reflecting on Matthew 10:28-31, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.  Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.  Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  This Truth brings to light the preciousness of every individual.  Even in the face of uncertainties, Jordan’s worth is highlighted, echoing the reassurance that he is valued beyond measure.

   Thankfully, by the grace of God, the consequences of the incident didn’t lead to a severe sentence, and he’s anticipated to be released in two months.  However, lingering questions about why this event unfolded in his life, and the choices he was compelled to make, persist in his thoughts stubbornly.

   To Jordan, who doesn’t know God yet, God is making Himself known. In the course of his life, guided by God’s plan, a clear invitation prompts him to seek answers. Despite my awareness of this process, God’s mysterious ways continue to unfold. As Jordan makes his way to the church, his heart gradually opens to the messages from our Onesimus Ministry.

   Gratitude fills me for this unfolding journey. Amidst this, Jordan receives a visit from a pastor, and the gospel is shared where it no longer feels unfamiliar. I grapple with burdens on my shoulders and wounds in my heart. How can I find comfort and navigate these challenges? What steps can I take in the upcoming circumstances? These persistent questions of his, unraveling like an unwinding scroll, seemingly takes a pause in the majestic truth of God.

   Like a child holding onto a handful of toys, Jordan welcomes the gospel with gratitude towards God. With folded hands, we join in prayer. As Jordan leaves, there’s a warmth in his departure. I’m thankful to the Lord for orchestrating this encounter of grace.

   I faced some momentary temptations yesterday, but through the visit with Jordan, I was able to experience God’s desire for moments of grace again.  The forecast of heavy rain also helped me remove any mental distractions as I committed  to drive carefully. However, another temptation was just around the corner.

   I’m asked to attend a missionary offering ceremony on the day before, the same day as my planned visit to see Jordan.  Surely God knows about the financial struggles Onesimus Ministry face and needs support with.  Thus, attending the ceremony would be a huge help. This makes me question whether I should reconsider the planned visit.

   Afterall, visits like to Jordan, can only be possible through financial means from similar offering ceremonies.

   As I contemplate, the words from Matthew 6:33 come to mind: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Praises that I have sung countless times pass by my mind,

   Even with rain pouring down the car window, the image of Jordan, a stranger, stays with me like a sunbeam through the drops. As a pastor refreshed by the rain, the Lord entrusts me with a believing soul, revealing the importance of my small faith.  So, I proceed.